"I challenge anybody in their darkest moment to write what they're grateful for, even stupid little things like green grass or a friendly conversation on the elevator. You start to realize how rich you are." - Jim Carrey

Over the years I've written several columns on the issue of gratitude, many around this time of year. Now, when a columnist writes often on a subject, there are a few things this could mean:

1) he thinks it's important,

2) he knows a lot about it,

3) he likes the subject, or

4) he's got nothing else to write about.

Go with number one, with maybe a little bit of two and three, hopefully not number four.

Regular readers of this column know that I like to write about practical things, and stay away from what I call the "squishy psycho-babble stuff." The issue of gratitude can sound like a squishy concept. In reality, it's a very practical concept. Call it an attitude of gratitude, thanks-living instead of thanksgiving, whatever you like.

An attitude of gratitude

From a practical point of view, having an attitude of gratitude simply gets you more in life. This is because of a simple yet powerful rule of life that we often ignore: We get more out of what we focus on. If we focus on all that we don't have, on what others have that we don't, on all that we lack, we end up feeling lacking. Focusing on what we don't have results in envy at best, and, at worst, results in beating ourselves up for all the mistakes we've made. Not a really helpful or productive way to live.

On the other hand, when we focus on the many things for which we have to be grateful, we realize just how blessed and rich we really are. When you feel blessed and rich, you feel much more alive, and thus more motivated to live the life you desire.

A few suggestions

So now, at the beginning of this holiday season, here is my challenge. Make a list of all the things for which you are grateful. Make a long list. Here are a few questions to get you started:

What have you been grateful for in the past?

What can you be grateful for in the present?

Who has helped you in your career?

Who has been there for you when you needed someone the most?

What can you be grateful for in you family? In your marriage?

What can you be grateful for in your job?

What are you grateful for in the last year, month, week, even today?

These questions should get you started. Keep the list with you, and when you notice your perspective shifting toward the wall reread your list to turn your focus back to where you want to go.

If you notice a few names on your gratitude list, contact them and thank them for their contribution to your life. Let them know they made the list. They will feel great, and so will you.