I finally began to understand my role as a mother only after I gave birth to my third daughter. I learned that it's my responsibility to accept credit whenever it is due, such as being able to raise beautiful (from the inside-out), well-mannered, respectful, caring, and loving girls. I finally learned how to take pride in my gifts and talents by graciously accepting a compliment, rather than pushing them off with the typical "nay, are you kidding? No way...that's not me...whatever!"? As women, we're so used to giving, that we can't even accept a compliment...worse yet, we feel guilty, or obliged to give one right back.

Then, I finally understood WHY we need to say "Thank You"?" ?it's an acknowledgement to someone's compliment. I also reply with "God has willed"?. I continue to acknowledge that my good fortune is a gift from God, and I praise and thank Him for these blessings. By remaining humble, I also ask for His protection from any evil that may result from the misuse of these gifts. For example, if one is granted money and abuses it, they may lose it tomorrow. If one is granted beauty and arrogance overcomes them, then they may be physically harmed. I also acknowledge the need for protection against the ill-intentions of the ungrateful, such as the jealous, envious, spiteful, or unkind.

As women, we don't pride or boost ourselves of our honors, awards, or good fortune, and we need to start. At the very least we need to acknowledge our self-worth by accepting a compliment confidently. As a starting point, try at least acknowledging God for granting these gifts. By saying "God has willed"? you will soon feel the power of your own inner-beauty. As for those women who accept compliments a-bit too well, try replying with "God has willed"? to treasure your humility a little more.

Ponn's Personal Pointers: As for giving appropriate credit when it's due: when someone remarks about my physical makeup, I reply "God has willed"? and add very confidently, "I'll thank my parents for you"?. After all, it wasn't my genes that gave me my looks.

(c) 2005 Ponn M. Sabra, MPH