"If you had a friend who talked to you like you sometimes talk to yourself, would you continue to hang around with that person?" - Rob Bremer, Speaker When I read the above quote by Rob Bremer, my first thought was - how true! If someone talked to us like we often talk to ourselves, we would avoid that person at all costs. I notice that golfers are especially good at beating themselves up! Here's a recent example: Over Memorial Day weekend, my husband and I played golf with another person. It was a beautiful day and the course was wide open - which is unusual for a holiday. Everything was going great until this other golfer missed his first putt. As soon as this happened, he became very angry and started belittling himself with words like "stupid, idiot, and jerk". He was so upset with himself that his negative "chatter" continued to the next tee box. This negativity became his primary focus so when he hit the ball off the next tee it was, of course, another "bad shot" (in his mind). Which led to cursing and more self deprecation. As we progressed with the round, his words became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Now, normally I am a pretty upbeat golfer, but after several holes of this behavior, I found myself being influenced by his attitude. I began to call myself "wimp" for leaving my putts short, which of course impacted my results too! I had to really fight to regain my joy in being outside on a beautiful day in gorgeous surroundings. We all have these internal thoughts going on. The danger comes from repeating the negative messages to the point we create a limiting belief. When we continually say we are incompetent, inferior, unworthy, or incapable, we are creating the very reality that we don't want! Breaking this negative chatter habit is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. You can stop perpetuating the lies you tell yourself by replacing the "old tapes" with new positive messages. One that I am working on right now is to replace any negative messages about exercise and fitness with this new phrase: "I am healthy, trim and toned!" Pay attention to the phrases you use about yourself each day. Would you say these same things to a friend? If not, then change your words. Be a better friend to yourself! Copyright June 2006 |
